


lose ends

by lesirain



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesirain/pseuds/lesirain
Summary: Welcome to the K-pop industry, one that we thought we knew well. An industry filled with rules and norms that the idols have no choice but to follow. But the idols signed up for this now they better follow what the contract says. It says don't fall in love, don't date, don't have a soulmate. If such fate have to be avoided, some sacrifices must be made. Even if it requires cutting the only thing holding the two love birds together. And it's not like the idols have a choice, not with the managers always around."Every idol does this," they say, "and TXT will not be an exception."
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. then : now

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to drop kick me if i don't finish my fics.
> 
> also check out the artwork my friend made for this fic I love it!!
> 
> [uwu's fanart|http://aminoapps.com/p/2hc2xv]

+x+

_now:_

Yeonjun loves the stage, and has to admit that it takes all his other members to drag him off one during practice. Not gonna lie, he likes the feeling of all eyes on him, the way everyone will know who Choi Yeonjun is , rapper, singer, dancer, the 'it' boy of the 4th gen. So for him, the sacrifice is worth it. 

_now:_

Soobin loves the stage, although not as much as Yeonjun and has to admit that he can spend hours there, reveling in the fact that he's an idol. Not gonna lie, he likes the feeling of all eyes on him, and everyone is paying attention to him. That even if his soulmate doesn't want him, the whole world does. It's his soulmate's loss, and his gain.

+x+

_then:_

his hands are shaking, as he holds a custom made pair of pliers. He sinks to the bathroom floor, curling up against the wall, as his vision blurs, sweat staining his shirt. He drops the string he was holding, and chooses to study the pliers instead. Other than the fact that it's bright red, it just looks like regular pliers. He holds it up, ‘ This is the thing that will decide my fate?’ he murmurs to himself, scoffing slightly at its ridiculous appearance. Lifting a finger to touch his eyelids, he realizes that he's crying. 

He can hardly believe that he's actually willing to do this, to cut his soul string and leave his soulmate hanging. Maybe 12 year old Yeonjun might immediately slam down the pliers and walk out of BigHit, convinced that his future soulmate is the world to him, but he's 21 now. He fought so hard to gain and keep the title of ' Number 1 Rookie' , and he can't afford to throw all his hard work away.

He briefly wonders what would happen to twelve years old Yeonjun, who would willingly throw away everything he knows just to follow his soulmate, no matter who they might be. After all, he grew up binge watching late night dramas, where the pair of soulmates would go in circles to find one another, only to find out that they had known each other prior to meeting. And then there would be the denial, and the supporting characters would come together to give the leads a 'wake up call '. After that? Happily ever after.

So it's no surprise that Yeonjun too hopes for his happily ever after, to find someone to spend the rest of his life with. But now, he's about to let his soulmate down.

Yeonjun looks up, collecting himself. He stumbles out of the bathroom door, only to be greeted by Soobin. The leader is caught off guard, head thrown back, hands raised in a cowering position, which is a little endearing, considering that Soobin is the tallest of all of them. But the sight of him can't help but remind Yeonjun of a little bunny.Yeonjun holds back a giggle,opting for a more mature smirk.

‘Bet you didn't see that coming?’ Yeonjun teases, catching sight of Soobin's tinged face.

_So cute._

Patting Soobin's shoulder, he turns to leave, wincing slightly as the pliers in his pocket poke at his thigh, an ever present reminder of his soulmate.

‘Hyung, are you alright? You look’, Soobin looks for the right word.

‘Tired.’ They both speak at the same time, with Yeonjun's tone being sharper. Too sharp for his liking, as Soobin flinches. Yeonjun crumples, hands clutching onto Soobin as if he could stop Yeonjun from sinking into a hole called 'bad life choices'. 

‘It's my soulmate,’ Yeonjun mumbles, resting his forehead against Soobin's shoulder.

‘You have your string?’ Soobin sounds curious and Yeonjun lifts his right arm up in resignation, the telltale line of red trailing down. 

‘Woah, cool. But don't you have to cut it?’ Soobin traces the string gingerly.

‘That's the thing.’ Yeonjun pulls out the annoying pliers, and mimes cutting the string. ‘I can't do it.’

Soobin's face is etched with confusion. ‘It’s just a string, do you want me to cut it for you?’ He offers.

Yeonjun flinches, and although it seems like a good idea, he feels that his string is his own personal matter, and does not need anyone to interfere. He steps backwards in shock, surprised that Soobin, sweet, caring Soobin would be willing to sever ties with his soulmate.

‘It’s my soulmate,’ Yeonjun drops his head down, but quickly looks at Soobin for his reaction.

‘It’s up to you hyung, but you’ve come this far already, it’ll be better once you cut it. At least your soulmate won’t know who you are?’ Soobin, sensing that Yeonjun wants to make his own choice, offers his consolation. Yeonjun sighs.

_I can’t handle this. I’ll do this tomorrow._

Desperate to escape Soobin, he makes a halfhearted excuse about needing to eat and scrambles off.

He makes it out to the corridor when he hears Soobin holler ,‘ The canteen’s the other way hyung!’


	2. hurts to say but [why?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to once again drop kick me if i don't complete my works.

_now:_

He notices that there’s something wrong with Taehyun as soon as he steps in the training room.

The boy is sitting in front of the mirror, blankly staring into his reflection. His hair is unkempt, and he looks like he just woke up. Moving closer, he realises that Taehyun’s wearing two mismatched shoes and his entire outfit looks chaotic.( Kai’s yellow hoodie does not go with the leather jacket Tae has on)

He’s about to approach Taehyun when Kai skids in, takes one look at Tae and beckons Yeonjun to come to him. Confused,Yeonjun lowers his voice, ‘ What happened?’ 

Normally, Taehyun greets him with a sunny smile, one to rival Kai’s and it makes Yeonjun’s day to see him smile. So seeing Taehyun gloomy invokes Yeonjun’s inner hyung side. 

‘ It’s his 21st birthday today, hyung,’ Kai’s voice is unnaturally quiet as he walks towards Tae.

Yeonjun watches Kai crouch down to level himself with Tae, face carefully blank to reveal nothing. Kai takes out a sandwich, and one of Soobin’s almond milk, and presses it into Taehyun’s hands.

‘ Here, I got one of Soobin-hyung’s almond milk, don’t tell him okay? You need to eat Tae, it’s to stay healthy’, Kai cajoles Tae, and looks to Yeonjun for support. His legs move on their own accord, and he settles down on the floor, unwraps the sandwich, and shoves it into Taehyn’s mouth.

‘Chew, and then drink the almond milk,’ Yeonjun commands, and he succeeds in waking Taehyun. Tae blinks momentarily confused by the sandwich in his mouth, and decides to take a bite.

Kai opens the almond milk and hands it to Tae, who accepts it and shoots Kai a shaky smile. Yeonjun shoos Kai away, who makes a random excuse about picking up more almond milk for Soobin, before darting off like a rocket. 

Tae tugs on Yeonjun's sleeve and he shifts into a more comfortable position to accommodate the younger one. Taehyun rests his head on Yeonjun's shoulder, and they both stare at the mirror. 

' Junie, do you regret cutting yours?' Taehyun asks, his voice soft. Normally, he'd scold the boy for using his name informally, but he figures that it's alright once in a while.

'No. Because if I didn't, I would never have gotten this chance to perform with you guys.' Yeonjun states, while Taehyun hums in agreement. They lapse back into comfortable silence.

'Do you wonder who your soulmate is?' Taehyun looks at Yeonjun.

' I do, and I feel so guilty because I'm being selfish and inconsiderate and I'm such a terrible terrible person. If I were my soulmate I'd hate myself too. But if I didn't do it I'd get kicked off and I don't want that. I thought it would be easy, it's just cutting a string but it feels like I'm cutting myself in half... ' Taehyun rambles and he clenches his fists tightly, and Yeonjun has to pry his hands off in case his nails cut and draw blood.

' Hey, what do you like best?' Yeonjun cuts in. 

'Singing? And all of us together? But what's this got to do?' Taehyun doesn't understand.

'Soulmates. I've always thought that the idea of soulmates contains flaws. It's not perfect.

It's not like what you see in those TV shows. They're illogical stories. No one will end up with those fairytale endings.

Maybe you'll only meet your soulmate when you hit 80 or maybe your soulmate is in love with someone else. How can you tell for sure?' Yeonjun scoffs. He pulls out his phone, searching for failed soulmate stories.

'Look, this one eloped with his soulmate's best friend. And this one, ended up filing for divorce because the soulmate preferred Coke to Sprite. Ridiculous.' He turns the phone to show Taehyun, coaxing a chuckle from him.

' What I'm trying to say is that your soulmate is not everything to you. You have to understand that your life, hobby, likes and dislikes matter too.' Yeonjun flails his hands helplessly.

_I'm definitely not cut out for pep talks._

Taehyun dazes for a good while before he speaks.

'It's a good thing that you're not the leader, if not all of us will have to suffer from your terrible talks.' Taehyun deadpans, raising his hands in self-defense as Yeonjun rains blows on him.

' Hmph, then you're not allowed to call me Junie at all,' Yeonjun pouts and crosses his arms. 

'I was just joking, Junie-hyung. I'm so glad to have a hyung like you. ' Taehyun smiles, acting cute for Yeonjun.


	3. we're all actors of the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to once again drop kick me if i don't complete my works.

_then:_

Soobin wakes up. The weather outside is chilly, and he can't help but tug on his blanket to cover himself, tucking his legs in to keep them warm. There's a nagging feeling in his gut, that tells him that something should happen today , but he can't seem to remember what. It keeps him awake, tossing and turning in his bed. He squeezes his eyes tightly, hoping to fall asleep.

He admits defeat when he sits up and treads carefully across the wooden floor. His members are all fast asleep in various states. Taehyun is curled up on his side, a jacket hung near his head to block out the light. Kai is smothered by his plushies, that the only visible part of him is his feet, sticking out of the bed frame. Soobin bends down to pick up one of his plushies, abandoned on the floor and places it carefully near Kai's arm. 

He then looks over to Yeonjun, who has haphazardly thrown a jacket over his head. Soobin quietly arranges the jacket to make sure it doesn't suffocate Yeonjun. Satisfied, he tiptoes out of the room, gently opening the door to the closet to check on Beomgyu. The boy is sleeping peacefully, so Soobin decides not to bother him.He looks at the clock.

_4.00a.m._

Too early to do anything and too late to go back to sleep. He heads for his only consolation, the fridge and takes out a carton of almond milk. He sits there for a while, contemplating on what he should do to pass the time. He decides to head down to practice the choreography that they learnt the day before. He leaves a note on the table, in case the other members worry. 

_at practice. binnie._

He tosses his milk and phone into a tote bag,which he slings over his shoulder. Picking up his shoes, he turns to unlock the door and let himself out. The corridor is brightly lit, and Soobin has to take a minute to adjust his eyes to glaring white lights. 

It doesn’t take long for him to reach the practice room. He flicks the lights on, adjusting the air conditioner to a slightly cooler temperature to get rid of the musty smell in the room. It cools down significantly, and Soobin walks over to the speakers. 

Soobin rigs up the speakers and starts playing his music. Shaking his body, he tries to lose himself in the song. He throws his whole body into it, trying to exhibit the energy and stage presence that radiates from the song. He doesn't stop to drink his almond milk, nor does he stop to notice that the outside world is still dark.

All Soobin knows in that moment, his dance and nothing else, just dance, dance and dance. Just him trying to remember. Remember what? That's the problem. It's probably a good thing though, because he doesn't exactly feel it has good vibes. At least he doesn't have remember that-

' You're up early?' Yeonjun dryly comments. He stands in the doorway, one hand holding a bottle of water, the other clutching his phone. Soobin notes that he's wearing the jacket he nearly suffocated in.

'Couldn't sleep so I came to practice hyung.' Soobin nods at Yeonjun, who is settling his things in a corner.

‘ Oh, wait, here,’ Yeonjun walks over to one of the cabinets, reaching in to draw out a lumpy parcel. Soobin looks over to Yeonjun, confused, while Yeonjun has an expectant look on his face. He gingerly unwraps the parcel, to save the wrapping that he’s going to keep (he does this to every gift he receives). He takes out to reveal a bright red, woolen sweater that looks his size. Unfolding his sweater, he picks up a card that falls out.

_happy birthday soobin!_

He pauses. birthday. He widens his eyes. It feels like the world has stopped, or slowed at least. He can barely register the music thrumming in the background. He collapses to the floor, hands clenching on the sweater tightly. In the corner of his eye, he can see Yeonjun's panicked face, mouthing some words Soobin cannot and doesn't bother deciphering. 

_21._

He’s 21 now. That means his soulmate-

Soobin looks down, anticipating his red string to show.

Instead of a red line, there’s only a faded black. His heart clenches. It hurts.

He has no soulmate now. Or rather, his soulmate gave up on him. First.

‘ Binnie? Soobin? CHOI SOOBIN?’, Yeonjun grips his shoulders and turns his body to face him. Soobin is deathly pale, and it scares Yeonjun. Soobin can't bring himself to open his mouth, and points to the black line inked on his arm.

He hears Yeonjun take in a breath, and quivers, waiting for Yeonjun to reject him, like his soulmate. ' Does this mean I can have Soobin to myself?' Yeonjun laughs forcefully, trying to lighten the mood. It works and Soobin shakily murmurs, ' You want me?

' Of course, anyone would want you!' Yeonjun rushes to comfort him. Maybe it's not the best thing to say, but it makes Soobin curl closer to him, so that's at least something.

Deep down, although Soobin would rather die than admit it, there's a part of him that feels relieved, that he doesn't have to cut his strong and live with the guilt. He wouldn't have been able to do it anyway, and probably would have asked Yeonjun or Taehyun to do it for him. Still, he's sure that the what-ifs and the could-haves will haunt him all the same. 

He remembers Yeonjun's 21st birthday, Yeonjun's smile faltering as his eyes traced his string. That day, he kept disappearing into the bathroom, and would come out with red eyes and a uncut string. None of the members knew what to do, and unspokenly volunteered Soobin to talk to him. He thought that he had to convince him to snip the string, but as it turned out, he didn't have to, in the end.

Apparently, he had cut his string while everyone was asleep, and threw himself into fervent practice the following morning. He didn't need to question him- it was simply the way Yeonjun distracted himself. Yeonjun bounced back in a week, their mischievous hyung back from who knows where. Admist all the practice and frenzy for the next comeback, Soobin did not stop wonder if it was all an act.

The door opens and Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai trail in, with various degrees of sleepiness present in their eyes. Then, Kai takes out a party popper and yells ' Happy Birthday Soobin-hyung!' waking up Beomgyu and Taehyun, who decides to attack Kai, and they all fall to the ground, giggling. Yeonjun deadpans as he whispers,' See, you've got these three idiots to take care of, since when will you ever have any time for yourself?'

Soobin chuckles and the both of them go to join the other three.

_If Yeonjun-hyung can pretend, so can I. ___


	4. beomgyu's interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is something slightly lighter, to make up for the angst i've loaded on you for the first three chapters. 
> 
> written by my friend uwu because at this point i was half dead already.

+x+

'Yeonjun-hyung, did you hurt yourself? You're injured?' Beomgyu points out, finger hovering above Yeonjun's arm, where a line of dull red is visible. 'Oh, but it doesn't hurt?' Yeonjun dismisses the thought. 

Later though, Beomgyu sees the exact line on Soobin's arm and he does a double take. His mind starts to race and all sorts of possibilities enter his mind. Coincidence? I think not.

Beomgyu decides to observe them. He sighs.

***camera pans into beomgyu ***

Welcome back to Beomgyu's interlude. Today we're bringing you the juiciest news about the two love birds in TXT. Brought to you by your favorite host (I'd better be your favorite host) Choi BAMgyu. 

Today we observe our target, Choi Soobin as he- he's wearing that again. The infamous red sweater is back at it again, slowly taking over hyung's sanity as he wears it almost everyday now. Although Yeonjun-hyung can choose clothes for himself, he CLEARLY can't pick for others. 

Honestly that sweater would look better on me. Actually I look good in everything, these peasants could never. aNyWay- The prey, I mean sOoBiN-hYuNg stares at Yeonjun-hyung with awe.

OMG these idiots, clearly they are soulmates, they should be thankful that they know their soulmates so well. 

But instead of doing so, these two CLOSETED gays refuse to confront each other about it. Gosh. Lord have mercy on those idiots for both of them are oblivious as hell. Nah, lord help ME for I have to survive between this gay drama. 

At least the maknaes are pretty okay... but they did play nursery rhymes until 2 am last night. Maybe I am the only sane one, my handsome face and I shall forever be together. 

Well, that is it for today,in observing oblivious gays with Beomgyu. See you next time.


	5. would you please.... stay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no one told me that i had to learn coding for this.
> 
> that being said, guess who spent 10 MINUTES trying to italicize words...

_now:_

They are eating breakfast when Kai comments, ' I didn't know Soobin-hyung and Yeonjun-hyung were soulmates?'

This effectively kills the light-hearted mood from before. Five pairs of eyes look towards a pair of hands, connected by a red string. Kai immediately pales with regret, Taehyun falls out of his chair and Beomgyu mutters a faint ' finally ' .

Soobin is the first to stand, moving out of his seat swiftly and doesn't stop until he's out of sight. Yeonjun is stunned, the piece of egg impaled on his fork still halfway on the journey to his mouth. Kai plucks the fork out of his hands, and Beomgyu pulls him to his feet. ' Go get him.' Beomgyu whispers in Yeonjun's ear, and Taehyun flashes a thumbs up sign. The three of them push Yeonjun out of the room.

Yeonjun clambers out of the dorm, following Soobin. They head to their practice room. Soobin looks up at the ceiling, while Yeonjun focuses on the mirror, both of them staying silent.

' We should just cut it.' Soobin offers tentatively, after some time. He looks at Yeonjun, who continues to stare holes into his own reflection. He's known Soobin for so long that he can tell that Yeonjun's thinking hard. He understands why, because Yeonjun's just been given a chance to turn back time, to right his wrong. 

But to choose his soulmate over his own life, his passion? Not even Soobin would do that. But he knows that Yeonjun might. Maybe out of love, but mainly because of the guilt eating at him, the obligation. And Soobin doesn't want that for Yeonjun. He doesn't want Yeonjun to be unhappy, so he'll play the bad guy. This time.

For Yeonjun. He will do anything. Soobin stalks over to the drawers where he knows that the pliers are stored after Taehyun used it. He spots the bright red pliers without any trouble and he wrenches it out from the drawers. ' Trust me.' He tells Yeonjun, whose eyes widen when he catches sight of the pliers.

Yeonjun cannot help but panic. 

_the pliers._

He remembers. The struggle he faced, that he couldn't cut it but had to do so in the end. He couldn't force himself to do it, and instead, he begged his manager to cut it for him. Even then, he distinctly remembers being held down, as he cried his apologies out. It nearly killed him. And now, again.

'Trust me.' He hears Soobin say, and he does, relaxing once he feels Soobin's arms wrap around his shoulder. He leans in, and tilts his head to face Soobin. Only then does he realizes how close they are. 

' I shouldn't have cut the string Soobin, I'm sorry,' he says and moves to hug him. ' I don't blame you hyung, ' Soobin's steady voice reverberates through the room.

' Last time, you had to do what was necessary. This time, let me make the choice. Trust me?'

And Yeonjun realizes that he does. He does. He would follow Soobin to the end of the world if he asked. Because it was Soobin, his best friend, his leader, his soulmate. And no matter what, he trusts Soobin.

He squeezes his eyes shut, and nods. 

_I'm ready._

Soobin inhales, and holds the pliers over the string. 

_I can do this. For Yeonjun._

He cuts the string.

Yeonjun screams. It's a scream that chills Soobin all the way down to his bones. He drops the pliers and both his hands reach out to grab Yeonjun, but it's too late. Yeonjun collapses to the floor, writhing in pain, as he screams. Soobin pulls Yeonjun closer to him, and rests his head on his lap. Cradling him tenderly, he whispers an apology softly, but over and over again. 

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

All that matters is his Yeonjun, and he rubs Yeonjun's back soothingly, doing anything to ease the pain. He hears footsteps echoing outside the practice room, no doubt Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai, after hearing the scream. He doesn't bother looking at them, concentrated on Yeonjun. After a few furious clicks the door budges, and the three spill into the room. He faintly hears their confusion but doesn't answer, instead, he shifts some of Yeonjun's hair. Yeonjun blinks, red eyes matching his own, and he turns to face Soobin, and mouths a ' I'm fine.' Soobin sighs with relief. 

_It'll be alright, alright ,alright._

+x+

The stage is ready. Backstage, Kai squeezes Tae's hand, who in turn looks at Beom, his eyes carrying an unspoken message. Beom lifts his head and nods at Soobin reassuringly. Soobin raises his hand to pat Yeonjun on the shoulder, who musters a smile. The five of them out their hands together, silently chanting their group name.

 _we can do this, it's always been us five against the world._

they step on stage and all the audience can see is their silhouettes, until they turn around. 

'One Dream! We are Tomorrow by Together!' 

just another day on stage.

**Author's Note:**

> You've made it all the way here? Wow! You deserve an award for putting up with me!
> 
> Thanks to you who has suffered with me! <3
> 
> Yeonjun or bread?


End file.
